Pause

Sometimes the actions of others give me pause. Sometimes in a good way, sometimes not. For example, whenever I try my hand a mild humor when speaking to my advisor, he is impassive. I wonder, why doesn't he smile? Am I way less funny than I think I am (probably)?

Different story: as a graduate student, I get a stipend from the university every month. I have to admit, I've grown attached to it, so I was disappointed when I didn't get it at the beginning of the month. I tried to take it in my stride and figure out what was wrong. Finally I was informed that I would be paid today, the last day of July. I must say I was a bit impatient for the day to come, so I could once again spend money with abandon.

In the middle of the month, while I was still trying to figure these things out, an employee at my lab, whose office is next to mine, asked me if I was having troubles with that. Apparently her husband was having troubles getting his stipend, too. She contacted the accounts processor at our department and found out when we would get paid.

This morning as I turned on my computer she came to my office to see if I had gotten paid. After I checked and found that I hadn't, she said she would contact the lady for me. This is what gives me pause. Why would she be so eager to help me? A pleasant feeling is pervading, even as I contemplate my continued lack of money, because someone I barely know seems to care enough about me to involve herself in my affairs and try to help.