"Bonsai Your Pet" and other stories

The other day I realized I'm becoming more and more grownup. One of the signs I discovered is affinity for asparagus. I used to refuse to even eat asparagus, and when I did force it down, it was painful. Suddenly, several months ago, I ordered a meal where asparagus was one of the main ingredients. I loved it. I now crave it. It's a sign. However, I still feel like the idea that I'm a grownup is a laughable one. I feel a kinship to the character in this comic (another sign that I am not grownup is the fact that I still read comics).

In other news, this morning I realized that Walter is a pretty nice size for a dog. Not small enough to be too annoying, but small enough that I can still carry him. I mentioned this to my mom and she suggested that I figure out a way to bonsai him. As I considered the methods used to bonsai a tree, I realized that if these were applied to an animal, it might be considered cruelty. Restricting food, water, and living space to keep an animal small all seem somewhat legally actionable, except in the case of goldfish.